


Visions of Gideon

by Zon_Chan



Series: Lyric fanfics [5]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Bisexual Tony Stark, F/M, Future, Heavy Angst, Hurt Peter, Last Kiss, M/M, Marriage, Past, Post-Break Up, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-05-05
Packaged: 2019-04-25 06:49:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 13
Words: 2,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14373234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zon_Chan/pseuds/Zon_Chan
Summary: Visions of Gideon by Sufjan StevensShort chapters





	1. 1

> "I have loved you for the last time.  
> Is it a video? Is it a video?"
> 
>  

**Present**

My eyes opened and I watched as the sunlight was shinning on everything in the room. The dust soaring in the air. You wouldn't be able to see it if you weren't looking. I rubbed my eyes and yawned quietly. I don't want to wake him up. 

I slowly sat up in the bed and stared at the naked sleeping man laying next to me. His skin glowing in the early rays of the morning sunlight. His soft snores muffled against the pillows. 

I licked my lips and forced myself to not touch him. I didn't want to hurt him anymore. He didn't need this in his life. He already has too much to deal with. He can't handle another mistake. 

And I can't be it.

I slid out of the bed, leaving the soft thin sheets. I noticed how the bed had sunk a little. Showing that someone was with Tony. I looked away from the man who could speak regrets but sleep with them at the same time.

The man that had everything, but nothing at the same time. Because he was just lonely. In this big world, with no one to trust fully. Not even his fiancée.

I pulled on my clothes, trying to get the memories of last night out of my head. Trying to forget about how gentle he was when taking of my shirt. How rough he had been with my jeans. And the marks he left on my skin. 

I looked back at his sleeping form, and left the room. 


	2. 2

> "I have touched you for the last time.  
> Is it a video? Is it a video?"

**Present**

The dream was gone. And I was awake. I didn't move from my spot for a few seconds. Didn't want to open my eyes and see that he wasn't here. That the cold sheets were because he was long gone. And there wasn't any chance I could get him back.

The fact is, I get too attached to the ones who are destined to hurt me. I sighed and opened my eyes. That's the one  regret I always make. I hurt them, so they won't hurt me first.

And in the aftermath, I end up killing us both.

I fell on my back and looked up at ceiling. One last night, the last to everything. And we never speak of this again. That was the deal this time.

The cool sheets that laid next to me were crumpled but had no one there. This room feels too bug for one person. This loneliness can't be contained. 

I'm the one that did this though. I broke everything, and ripped my own happiness away from me. I'm the only one to blame, for this mess that came to be.

In reality none of this would work though. Those pretty brown eyes could only work for so long. Before they dull and go bad. I couldn't let that happen to Peter.

Sighing I sat up in bed, "What's on the menu today?" I asked JARVIS.

"Ms.Potts has scheduled a meeting for you in two hours." The Al replied.

I rubbed my temples, "Let's get to work then."


	3. 3

> "For the love, for laughter, I flew up to your arms.  
> Is it a video? Is it a video?"

 

**Past**

"Peter! Can we not have this fight right now?" Tony yelled at the teen.

Peter glared and stepped forward, "See that's your problem! Every time something doesn't go your way you quit it!" He yelled at the man in front of him.

"Wow are you really that sensitive? Really Peter? Is this about? Huh?" Tony said setting down a glass of scotch.

"No! But we can't keep doing this. It isn't fair to her." Peter told Tony more gently.

"Don't you think I know that? It's, not easy." Tony sat down, "I'm not trying to be the bad guy. It's just hard."

Peter frowned and rubbed the older mans shoulders. "I know I'm making easy. I'm sorry." The teen apologized.

Tony shook his head and reached up to grab Peter's hands. "It's my fault I need to decide something. I'll fix this."

Peter leaned down and kissed Tony's cheek. "I know and I'll help anyway I can."

Tony's hand stilled from rubbing the boy's wrist. Dread filled his stomach, what was the decision? He wondered. Tony knew he would have to hurt someone he cared for.

The question was, who was it going to be?

Be hurt or hurt others is the worlds motto. He just hoped he would make a good choice.

Tony tilted his head up and kissed Peter's soft lips. Dread was still there.


	4. 4

> "For the love, for laughter, I flew up to your arms.  
> Is it a video? Is it a video?  
> Is it a video?"
> 
>  

**Present**

The air was cold and the sun was hot. The day reminded me of the time that Ned and I got ice cream before school started. A hot yet cool morning.

It also reminded me of how Tony would break the speed limits. The car windows would be rolled down, wind blowing in my face. The sun making the inside of the car hot.

Everything was fine before.

Now it feels like my mind won't stop thinking. My body aches for the touch that'll never happen. And my heart won't stop breaking.

Something's wrong with me. Is this being love sick. Or is this just how people are after break ups?

I pushed my hands into my pocket and stopped at the intersection. A couple walked past me.

Holding hands. Smiling at each other. Exchanging kisses. Being happy. Something Tony and I never did. For a number of reasons.

Pressure piled on my chest.

I looked away and ignored the sudden pound in my ears. My pulse started to pick up. Stop thinking so much, stop it, stop! 

The light changed and my feet walked across the street. The pounding lessened and I took a deep breath. Everything is fine. Stop over reacting. Calm down. Relax.

The weight of my backpack felt like it could crush me. I blinked and continued to school.

Just calm down.


	5. 5

> "I have loved you for the last time.  
> Visions of Gideon, visions of Gideon."
> 
>  

**Past**

The glass touched his lips and he drowned in the bitter liquid. He watched as the teenager in front of him was trying to unbuckle his jeans. He watched the desperation that rested on the young ones face.

Tony bit his lip but didn't move to help the brown haired teen. Instead the older man brushed Peter's curles passed his forehead. His hair is so soft, Tony thought, playing with the losses strands.

Peter whimpered and leaned against the touch. The boy was glowing so bright, everything was so good. 

It's always the calm before the storm.

"I'm going to marry Pepper." Tony heard himself say.

Peter paused his movements and locked eyes with Tony, few present in his. "What?" He whispered, his grip loosened.

"I'm sorry, it's the best option." Tony said, trying desperately not to make him cry.

 "Best option? Your-ha should've known." Peter faked a laughed. He got off of Tony's lap and stared at the ground. 

"I don't want to hurt you." Tony tried to touch Peter. He couldn't loose him. But, perhaps he was never his.

"Too late." Peter spat out leaving the room.

Happiness never lasts long. Someone always ruins the good.

Tony gabbed the cup and slammed it against the wall. Glass cutting into his skin. "Shit." Tony cried. He's Tony Stark, he fucks everything up.


	6. 6

> "And I have kissed you for the last time.  
> Visions of Gideon, visions of Gideon."
> 
>  

**Present**

He seemed happy. Better off without me. His face if lighter. Not having to worry about people finding out about us. Having no stress because the person he's supposed to be with is next to him.

Holding his arm a smile on her face. Her eyes twinkling as the cameras flashed before the couple.

The ring brighten at all the light.

Tony tensed up as reporters asked questions about kids. And I guess I'm to blame for that. I ruined the last of the innocence the man had. And in return he ruined me. Without hesitation.

We know each other better than we're supposed to. And that thought terrifies him. Scares him for kids. And anything else, he could ever have without the memory of me being there. By his side.

And no one knows about anything, and no one will ever will.

May walked in with a smile on her face. "Well won't you look at that. Stark is finally settling down. Should we give them a wedding present?" May asked.

I shrugged and stared at the words on the screen.

**_'Tony Stark proposes to Pepper Potts.'_ **

__So, he really did it.


	7. 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first time they made love.

> "For the love, for laughter, I flew up to your arms.  
> Is it a video? (Is it a video?) Is it a video? (Is it a video?)."
> 
>  

**Past**

Light touches and soft kisses. Hands on flesh and pleasure with every moan.

The chair creaking under the weight off the two bodies. The two males exploring each others bodies. And how to draw out the sweet noises that they made.

Peter moaned into Tony's mouth and ran his fingers into the older mans hair. Said man groaned and tighten his grip on the teen hip.

Heavy breathing filled the workshop will sound. Tony grunted as Peter bit his lip and pulled. Tony moved his hands towards the teens back and tugged at the shirt that was covering the boys skin.

Peter sat up in Tony's lap and pulled off the shirt and dived in and started sucking on the older mans neck. Tony pulled at Peter's curlies and starting mouthing his shoulder.

Desire and list started to fill them to the brim.

Eventually Tony moved them to the couch and shredded their clothes. Flesh rested upon flesh. The couple was mapping out each others bodies as if it was the last time they'll see one another.

Peter seemed to be sinking into the couch as Tony's body fell more and more on top of him. They breathed each other in and stared into the eyes of the other. Trying to figure out what exactly would happen after this.

And what consequences lie ahead.


	8. 8

> "For the love, for laughter, I flew up to your arms.  
> Is it a video? (Is it a video?) Is it a video? (Is it a video?)."
> 
>  

**Past**

The first exchange of "I love you's", had happened the morning after the couple had loved each other.

It was a sunny and quiet morning. Peter and Tony bathing in the after glow of what had happened. Their skin tracing the other, and soft smilies on their lips.

Surprisingly it was Tony who had said the four words that stopped each heart. Almost immediately, Tony sat up in bed his pulse picking up speed.

"I'm sorry." Tony whispered, angry at himself for letting his emotions get the best of him.

Peter quickly sat up, following the older mans movements. The teen rested a hand on Tony's back and rubbed comforting circles into his skin. Tony stared at the wall, waiting for Peter to leave the room. And never come back.

However to his surprise, Peter didn't move an inch. The teen rested his head on the older mans shoulder. Tony looked at him in shock. And when he was about to about it, Peter spoke up.

"I love you too." Peter repeated with a smile.

Tony sucked in a breath as his heart fluttered. The brown haired man decided he liked the feeling and held Peter tightly. Like he would change his mind if Tony let go of him.


	9. 9

> "For the love, for laughter, I flew up to your arms  
> Visions of Gideon, (visions of Gideon), visions of Gideon, (visions of Gideon)."
> 
>  

**PRESENT**

Pepper laid her hand on top of mine. "Are you okay?" She questioned with a frown.

Her touch isn't like Peter's I thought briefly before replying. "Nothing." I replied, "Just a little stressed."

Pepper nodded her head and laced out hands together. "It'll all passby soon enough. Tony Stark getting married is a big think after all."

My heart squeezed at the thought. Was I making a mistakes? Of course I was. But the bigger mistake was being with Peter. If someone found out about us, it could've ruined him.

I did ruined him.

Pepper and Peter were very different people. Pepper didn't know how to comfort me. Peyer does. Peter is a shy yet passionate lover. Pepper isn't.

I sipped my wine and thought about Peter. Wondering how he took the news. If his heart is broken. If he found somebody else. I wondered how he was going to cope with the loss. After all, I was Peter's first. And Peter was my last.

I didn't mean to break the teenager but things happen. And I'm a disgusting old !an. And Peter, he's a saint.

"Let's to home." Pepper whispered I to my ear. I pursed my lips and nodded.

Somehow, my life isn't mine anymore. It belongs to the public. To Pepper.

And I can't do anything about it, no matter how much I hate it.


	10. 10

> "For the love, for laughter, I flew up to your arms  
> Visions of Gideon, (visions of Gideon), visions of Gideon, (visions of Gideon), visions of Gideon."
> 
>  

**PRESENT**

I stared at the wedding invitation. The letter felt heavy in my hand. Like it weighed two tons when it was light like a feather.

Time seemed to stop. Just for a second.

Then I remembered who I was. I was no one. To everyone. Always and forever. I wonder if all the 'love you's', were real. Or if it was a game I don't like this story.

Tony is smart though,the invite is addressed to May. Not me. To May Parker and plus one.

So one one  suspects anything and so everything seems fine. This time when my heart broke, tears didn't flood my eyes. I became empty in that moment.


	11. 11

> "Visions of Gideon, visions of Gideon, visions of Gideon.  
> Visions of Gideon, visions of Gideon, visions of Gideon."
> 
>  

**PRESENT**

May looked younger in that dress. All of her worries covered by make-up. And a smile on her face.

"Let's go find a seat." She beamed at me.

"I have to use the bathroom. But I'll meet you there. Save me a seat okay?" I said disappearing.

Cold water stilled my thoughts. It was calming and refreshing all at once. I soaked my hands in it and then my face.

I needed to get everything together. This is the last time for everything. And it'll end for good.

The bathroom door opened and the groom walked in. We stood at both our ends waiting to see what the other would do. Tony made the first move.

"I wasn't sure if you'll be here." Tony supplied, straightening his tie in the mirror.

"I couldn't let May be alone." I explained not moving. Tony seemed disappointed in my answer. Maybe its because I didn't come for him.

But this'll be the last time for everything.

I took a deep breath and pushed Tony against the wall. He looked at me with wide eyes. I leaned in and kissed his cheek.

"Thank you. And congrats." I whispered before leaving the bathroom.

I bit the inside of my cheek so I wouldn't cry. And it didn't matter if Tony didn't know what I was thanking him for. I wasn't sure myself. But its time to leave him alone.


	12. 12

> "Visions of Gideon, (Is it a video?), visions of Gideon, (Is it a video?), visions of Gideon  
> Visions of Gideon, (Is it a video?), visions of Gideon, (Is it a video?), visions of Gideon."
> 
>  

**PRESENT**

"Speak now or forever hold your peace."

My heart jumped at those words and for a second it seemed like everyone was staring at me. Waiting for me to say something. To reveal what I know and how I know it.

But I couldn't, even if Tony only looked half happy. I couldn't spill. I know it'll only ruin him. I can't do that to someone I love.

I watched as the two exchange vows. I wonder if Tony really meant his.

I watched as they exchange rings. May gripped my arm tightly. Tears running down her face.

"I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride."

A single tear ran down my face. And if anyone saw they would think that I was overcome with joy. But really, the last of my heart just broke. And I didn't have anything to pick it up.

He's untouchable now.


	13. 13

> "(Is it a video?) (Is it a video?) (Is it a video?)."
> 
>  

**Ending**

If you knew how this was going to end would you still have done it?

_"Oh Mr. Parker!"_

_"What? Um, I'm, I'm Peter."_

Touched him like that? Kissed him like that? Spoke his name like that?

_"Mr. Stark."_

_"Peter."_

And well today, two hearts broke. Because we wish for too much and we never get what we want.

_"I'm sorry. So sorry."_

We only hope for the best.


End file.
